Thursday, November 10, 2005

Wal Mart....The Movie, The President....

On sale now! Executive branch access! For a short time, down to five figures! You, too can have a Piece of the Bush!

We are committing commercial and political suicide by hosting the "Wal Mart Movie: The High Cost of Low Prices!" We have billed it as: "The Cachagua Store vs. Wal Mart". That is smart...WalMart is known for being benevolent to critics. We will be serving Guinness, Newcastle or local organic wines to Store supporters.....and Coors to Wal Mart people. I expect a crowd of several.

Anyway.....we gave Wal Mart a chance. The president and heir was at a party we catered at the Hatfield's last month, during Katrina. He and his wife professed to love our food.....and be willing to fly us out to Mississippi to do some down-home, California cookin' for them.

Well, the phone never rang.... So, fuck 'em.

When I mentioned to Wal Mart Sparky that our Chloe was in Little Rock, working for Uncle Billy....Sparky told me to watch CNN in the morning. The fix was in, and Uncle Billy was going to be announcing something great about Wal Mart, storm relief, and .........

How depressing is that? Uncle Billy as the Wal Mart sidewalk monkey? Is there no hope?

I was much cheered up to hear Robert Greenwald on our local communist radio station, KRXA540. He is the auteur of the Wal Mart movie, and has a sense of humor loose enough to require medication.

His marketing plan is to release the movie nationwide on DVD and in theatres at the same moment, and have community activists all over the place put on small opening-week screenings. After five minutes on his website I too, was a producer. Other local screenings will be at the Unitarian Church (!!!???!!) and at the N.O.W. offices. Also at a nice man's house in Aptos, capacity five. Check it out: Our zipcode is 93924. Check our our offering. And go to one near you....

All good. In the intervening two weeks since we signed up I have received congratulatory emails from former residents of Carmel, ex-Carmel High kids....even my ex, who has not spoken two words to me in two years.......

Then, today I received an email from Tom McMahon at the Democratic Party. It seems they are having a Nationwide Day of Action!!! To chart the course for the next umpteen years!!! Conference call with Howard Dean!!!!

Their Day of Action is Tuesday. In five days.

This is the first I have heard of it.....and I am on every lefty-pinko email list that lives....and am a former delegate to the Democratic Convention. Well, I was a Republican at the time, so maybe I slipped through the data cracks.....

I did an email search for local gatherings within 50 miles of Cachagua. There were two, both in Santa Cruz. (One was at Dharma's...which is sort of the Cachagua Store of there: instead of toothless crackheads wandering through in search of a sandwich or a beer, you have bra-less hippy waitress chicks straight out of an R. Crumb comic. Both places have good food, though. And, you have to love Dharma's......They tried to change their name to McDharma's and got sued by Mickey D. They should be sponsoring the WalMart movie, not the fucking Democrats! )

So.....if this is the best organization that we can expect from the Democratic Party...five days notice to put on major policy events.....Only two events within 50 miles of Monterey and Pebble Beach when the WalMart movie has is time to jump off that ship.

I am looking for a new party. It should have humor, good nice to the environment.....and their food should not involve bottled condiments. Oh, and all explosions should be airborn and festive, and preferably alcohol-related.

And they should know their way around the internet. Al Gore lives in San Francisco now for chrissakes! Someone please stuff Howard Dean in a goddam bottle and float him out on the Japanese current.....I hear they need doctors in Peru.


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