Friday, December 23, 2005

'Tis the Season.....

Oh, Jesu......Joy of man's desiring.....Happy Birthday, Dude.

Meanwhile, back on the Planet: I spend at least three hours a day driving around buying stuff. AM radio rules, with brief commercial breaks for NPR, etc. This season it seems the War is in the air. The Inebriate-in-Chief can read our mail and listen to our phone calls, because we are at War.

Really? Did Congress declare War? Did I miss something? Who did we declare War on? Iraq? How do you declare War on an Idea? I think Japan was the last outfit we went to actual war with.......a while back. Meanwhile, there have been lots of Wars: the War on Poverty (anyone remember that one?), War on Drugs, and now, the War on Terror. Somehow now I should give up the personal freedom my ancestors have struggled for millenia to achieve because four and half years ago some crazy Arabs killed .001% of our population. Hmmm.

That is not the only War....Apparently, the Left.....or those damn Jews....or the ACLU.....have declared War on Christmas......

And Christmas.....there is something to go to war over.

I have already gone off about this......''Happy Holidays'' is not an anti-Christian insult!

In December alone we Christians have: Saint Nick (Dec 6), big in Holland; the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (Dec 8), holy day of obligation; Our Lady of Guadalupe (Dec 12), big in Mexico; St. Stephen, first martyr (Dec 26) and Boxing Day, big in Canada and England; Feast of the Holy Innocents...the babies killed by Herod...on Dec 28. And do we ignore St. Francis Xavier (Dec 3), Thomas รก Becket (Dec 29), and St. Ambrose (Dec 7)..... HUGE in Milan...I have checked out his dried out corpse!! Nice shoes!!.....?? And then Jan 1, Mary Mother of God (holy day of obligation); Jan 2, Ephiphany; Jan 6....Twelfth Night. That is a lot of damn holidays. Why not be happy about all of them? This is IGNORING the Jews.......

Christmas a few years back did it for me. I was in Macy's on Christmas good knife broke and I had to fly to Philly and cut things, so I needed a Henckel.......On my way out of the store I ran into Milton Bonilla, one of my soccer kids. He was about 14, and he was desparate. He needed to find a present for his mom. He had twenty bucks, and he was in Macy's on Christmas Eve.

The family is from El immigrants from the old bad days: War on Communism, probably. They live in a converted motel by the DMV. Genius soccer players. Heroes all. Dad works three jobs, Mom works two. Milton had just been assaulted by six weeks of TV propaganda: buy, buy, buy! ''Your worth and your love can only be demonstrated by the size and quality of the gift you buy!'' He had bought into the whole deal....hook, line and sinker. And now he was in Macy's with twenty bucks, and twenty minutes.......What was he going to buy? A coffee cup?

He was completely distraught. The lesson of his utter personal worthlessness before the American Christmas juggernaught sunk in like a driven nail. I watched every bit of self esteem we had all worked on for years on the soccer pitch drain out of the kid right there on the floor at Macy's. Fuck. I gave him all my cash, and sent him upstairs to buy a shitty sweater.

Who needs this? If there is a War on Christmas, where do I sign up?


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