Saturday, July 21, 2007

Paranoia Strikes Deep

Jeez....I already used this title. I REALLY must be paranoid. The fish oil must not be working......

Quick response to CommentFolk: More Carl Demler very soon; actual organic milk products can be purchased from Organic Valley nationwide, and Strauss Family dairy in California. And....Brendan bought the Aprilia Motard 550 SX. He is a Motorslut. When he was born there were two Dunstall Norton café racers in the garage.......It is genetic.

Back to basics.

If I were a terrorist......note the subjunctive tense......it would not be hard for me to take out some folks here in The Homeland.

I have known some actual terrorists. Don't get excited, Sr. Gonzales....these are people I met at public events. Well, and people I met in bars. Let us just say that they all knew who Shane Magowan is.

These guys were professionals. They did not drink much even in the bars. (I guess I am not made for terror). They had an ideology, a program, and a business plan. There was no foaming at the mouth and shouting......that was for the other idiots at the bar whose twenty dollar notes funded the "terrorists". These guys had plans, inventory, depreciation.....media guys with focus groups....the whole nine yards.

One of these guys that I met had escaped from a maximum security situtation in a northern country.....and had lain naked and submerged in freezing bogwater for twelve hours breathing through a straw while the dogs hunted him. If you ever have read "Sometimes a Great Notion".....

These guys were quiet, serious, dedicated.....and ultimately, successful. No screaming "Allah akbar!" in a market and pulling the pin on the bombsuit......

Anyway.....As a foodservice professional, who is completely familiar with writing business plans, and who has had long talks with actual terrorists.....I propose this as a.....novel, screenplay, fantasy......

A Person decides....for whatever reason or ideology.....to kill some Americans. This Person has a meeting with his peers, and they come up with a budget.

For maximum impact, the Person and his contacts talk about the number of Americans who need to be killed. Millions? Out of the question. Thousands? Well, it worked pretty well on 9/11....

They decide, for argument's sake to mimic 9/11 and kill 3,000 Americans. Now they need a method.

The Bush Administration has spent all the money in Iraq, so it is not hard to penetrate The Homeland. Only 1% of incoming containers to America are inspected. Only 1% of incoming foodstuffs are inspected. Even from China. Even from Bangladesh. Even from Malaysia.

They could build a dirty bomb, call it sneakers or t-shirts for Wal-Mart and smuggle it in in a container. Build one and the odds are 100-1 that it succeeds. Build two, and the odds are 10,000 to one in favor. You can go to Vegas with that!

But, dirty bombs are tough. Material, transport, bribing all these people....The technical aspects of detonation and distribution......this is not easy. Technicians are flaky. Millions of dollars are required......and you are playing right into what the security forces are expecting.

Hmmm.

How about this?

Forget the 1% chance of beating the customs.....let's do something internally. How about food? Maybe....meat?

Decent chemical and biological toxins can be ordered on the internet......or purchased at Hacienda Hay and Feed in Carmel Valley.

Sierra Meat Company in Marina in the middle of the night is stocked with illegal alien dudes who are just trying to get by and feed their families, here and in Mexico. If we could get a toxin into the daily mix of ground beef....say an ounce or two in several thousand pounds.....at three to five hamburgers per pound.......we have possibly ten thousand potential victims.

How much would it cost to bribe one of the illegals.....even to do a long-term wine and dine program with a hot babe or two....to slip in an ounce of toxins into the batch? A couple grand? How about we slip the coyotes some cash and hold up a guy's cousin's fiancée in San Diego? (Twenty years ago I paid $2,500 for the daughter of a cousin of my salad guy at Secrets....)

OK....easily traceable. Sierra has their master packing plant in Reno. What would it cost for a couple of hookers, a few nights on the town......and an ounce of toxins into the mix that goes out to all of Northern California? Ten grand? Twenty? With a potential 10,000 victims.....all living in a blue state.....this is a buck a body! Osama should be so lucky! Dirty bombs and nukes are SO expensive......and SO sketchy.

This is the same company that "wink-wink" sells farmed salmon as wild all winter....all through Northern California and Nevada......just to make a buck. I think our business plan can run with these guys.

It is one thing to attack buildings and airplanes.....what about attacking the very food that keeps those Yanks going? Talk about terror........

So....the ground meat, or the buffalo short ribs (even better....since Ted Turner is Buffalo Man) goes out all over the west. The poison slips by....and suddenly chefs, cooks, waiters, dishwashers, and clients are dropping like flies......and they are all illegals or Democrats. Beautiful.

President Bush and FEMA are quick to respond.

Here are some excerpts from the President's speech:

"My fellow Americans. It is with a heavy heart that I speak to you tonight. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims of this weeks terror attack, and to their families. Our nation stands with you, and your pain is our pain.

For seven years now I have been fighting the good fight against terrorism. Recently I have stood virtually alone in my dedication to this battle.

The American people chose not to listen to my message. The Democrat Party stood in the way of every effort of mine to ensure the security and stability of our nation: the ports, the borders, the airways, our cities and our food supply. Their misguided message has closed the ears of our stalwart citizens to the threats that surround them.

Today, as we mourn with the thousands of our brothers and sisters in California the tragic loss of life caused by this cowardly and vile attack on our Homeland.....I swear to you that I will leave no stone unturned to find the culprits responsible. I will leave no stone unturned.

I am today invoking the powers that my wisdom and foresight......given to me by Almighty God in my prayers to Him.....have prepared just this last May. I am temporarily suspending the Congress and the courts. Your government will bring all its power to bear on the security of our citizens and seek out, find and bring justice to those who would destroy our Constitution and our American way of life.

The voice of freedom will not be stilled in this world....."

Thank you, Mr. President.....

Now......in the World......who could be motivated to pull off a stunt like this?

Just a thought......

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