Quicky......

Tell me it is not 12:20......Please lie to me.

If only some Hillary people were around......They could make it be 9:20, because they are entitled to those extra three hours.

If you missed Scott McClellan on Keith Olbermann.....go find it. It was a historic moment in American history....

I missed most of it because I was dredging up all of Nike's community service hours for the past year. We have court tomorrow morning at 8:30 in Salinas.

Nike is set to go off probation tomorrow. Off probation in September she can emancipate herself and escape her dysfunctional Cachagua life. On probation, she is stuck.

Her mom.......the meth addict/whore who seems to only remember she has a daughter at 2am, or when she is out of money for drugs.....called last night to tell Nike that she is going to lie to the judge and tell him that Nike has not been home in three months and needs to stay on probation.

Sample public statements by Mom, in rooms full of people.....

"You are lucky to BE here......you were just a drunken mistake."

"You are the reason I am addicted to drugs......because you won't come home and help me...."

Nike is fifteen. And by some miracle so far not crippled by this kind of abuse. Picture Audrey Hepburn....hiding under that house in Holland, eating roots.

But......It is fine.

Last weekend, a call from Mom snuck through our security because she used Dad's phone. Nike sobbed for six hours.

Dad meanwhile is taking good care of Little Sister....and trying to rebuild the house that Mom burned down last year in a drug induced frenzy. The fire was blamed on the son for having too many computer connections.....the same son who finally gave up and enlisted in the Army last month. He ships out to Iraq in four weeks.

Dad is a highly skilled contractor, but is tied to his own house....doing all the work himself.....and struggling to meet the physical and financial deadlines set by The Bank.

Tomorrow, Dad has an inspection....required by the County and The Bank....and cannot be in Court to defend his daughter from the insane accusations of his drug addicted wife.

You may have read about this stuff somewhere......and not just in "Les Miserables".....

Picture what is going through this poor guy's mind.......trying to save his house, not being able to work because he has to meet the bank deadlines, crazy wife, two beautiful daughters.....son going to Iraq because he couldn't deal......and all of it coming together tomorrow and he can't do shit about it.

We Store Folk have spent five days calling every possible person and agency: Child Protective Services, the Probation Department, the District Attorney, Public Defenders, CASA.......We have no legal standing....even though Nike has been in our house for six months. Safe.

So.....I am driving her to Court in six hours. Poor girl.

Let's see what happens.....Does the legal system really work? Will it identify the real victim?

Stay tuned.

Meanwhile.....tonight we all worked on the beach for a Progressive Branch of the United States Military.

I am discovering discretion late in life.

This progressive branch of the military has an even MORE progressive agency that is devoted to trying to stop the next war......now.

I'll give you a hint. There is water involved. Salt water.

They have given up on Iran....but are working on India and Pakistan.

They gave me a fuzzy with their stupendously ironic and hopeful name embroidered on the chest.....and I left it on British Airways.....and those fuckers stole it. Naomi Campbell was channelling me when she bitch slapped those BA dudes...

Anyway, we have been doing this for years......bringing Pakistani and Indian admirals and generals.....and tons of American spooks....together on Carmel Beach for organic food and a certain amount of distilled and fermented beverages. The parties are huge successes......the folks have fun.....and you can literally watch the tensions evaporate in the resulting mesquite and Johnny Walker Black haze.....

We are not allowed to bill them for anything alcoholic beverages.....because George Bush is an alcoholic....all booze is bad.

So......I, Michael Jones, donate full bar and local Monterey County wines in quantity to the progressive branch of the US Military and their spooks and....not to mention the admirals and generals from South Asia.

Doing my part......Enabling!

The quick part of this post is this: The Yanks involved are at the highest levels of all those guys that supposedly blew the intelligence in 2001.....and with a healthy dose of all the young folks who we are counting on not to blow the intelligence next time. They all seem to know restaurants in Peshawar.....

Blew the intelligence? When we worked for them in June of 2001, the conference was about some obscure Saudi guy.......Osama, Obama......I forget. Something like "Bin Laudin" or something.

Tonight....a lot of the chatter from the young folk was about finishing their MBA's and PHD's this month......and who they were talking to in the Obama campaign about postitions next January. Same with the generals and admirals.....only the young folk seemed disgruntled that their options were more "Homeland Security" than foreign service......

No mention of people talking to the Clintons. Absolute silence about talking to McCain.

Wish me luck in court.