Friday, August 08, 2008

Bojangles Olympics......

First thing this morning....all set to have a great day.....I made the mistake of watching the news.

There was George Bush.....a guest of the Chinese government.......lecturing his hosts on their record of human rights abuses and abuse of free and open political process.

This is one day after the entire might of George's tin pot dictatorship had come to bear on a simple working man......a chauffeur held incommunicado for seven years who had finally been convicted in Bush's kangaroo court in the first and most magnificent of the Gitmo show trials

I am no lover of the Chinese government. I am a Tibet guy....and I despise each and every aspect of the way the Chincoms treat their people.....and ours. I ain't watching their shit.....

But still......How chromed are this guy's clueless, rude and inept is he to first accept the invitation to attend the Olympics from the Chincoms......and then piss in the punchbowl.

And.....Bush and the Chincoms see eye-to-eye on almost everything: security, free trade, controlling elections, squashing dissent, exercise of military power over distance, oligarchic control of not only the political process but the entire economy.

Bush's speech was an exercise of either such blatant chutzpah or such humiliating stupidity that it gave me an instant migraine.

I am boycotting the Olympics. Well, I might watch soccer. And I might watch some swimming.

My boys were all aqua jocks....but it goes beyond that. Swimmers are among the most meticulous competitors.

I mean....they shave their bodies to cut water resistance.

In high school! Where there is barely a hair to be shaved!

I saw the American cyclists trying to take on some shit like this by arriving in China wearing special HEPA filter masks against the smog. The Chincoms immediately slapped them down and made them apologize for dissing the Bojangles air. Rookie stuff.

I have a bunch of national and international licenses for coaching soccer, and training folks to coach soccer. We learn teaching techniques, physical, nutritional, spiritual, technical, strategic philosophies......anything to gain an edge.

My favorite Get Any Edge lesson came not from a soccer player....but from an aqua jock.

Thirty years ago the bad guys weren't Chinese....they were the Russkies and the East Germans. In the Barcelona Olympics in '82 there was some first tier American swimmer who was second tier when it came to the Ost Germans. Since this is not actual journalism, I am not going to look up the guy's name at midnight before a wedding.......

Anyway, our Yank had never beaten this East German prick....ever.

Close....but no cigar, White Boy.....

At the 800m or some such, he had another shot in Barca.

Luck of the draw.....our boy is posted next to The Enemy.

The competitors line up, get announced....climb up on their starting blocks.

"On your marks........"

"Get set....."

Our guy jumps the gun.....and dives in before the gun.

False start.

Oh, damn. Embarrassing.....

He drifts out in his lane, kick turns and cruises back in the German's lane and climbs out....all apologetic.

As he pulls himself out of the water and climbs up onto his starting block he whispers to the East perfect Ost Berlinsch....

"I just pissed in your lane, motherfucker........"

Our boy wins by a length.


I will probably watch the swimming.......


Blogger kathy said...

WHAT!!!??!!!! He has balls? You're SO wrong. Those dangly things are puss-filled boils attached to the asshole of the universe......

8:57 AM  
Blogger pendoodles said...

My hubby sort of agreed with Kathy but said they aren't 'puss-filled boils attached to the asshole of the universe' instead they are 'puss-filled boiled white golf balls attached to the arsehole of the head of PG aka: city manager'. OK I know, not a fair ballgame (pardom moi's pun) to compare Bush to the Pacific Grove city manager, the PG city manager is far worse. LOL

Anywhos... i'm much in the same mindset as Michael. Boycotting the games. I like the swimming and bikers.

Bush sucks and is similar in stature to Nixon as an embarrasment to the USA. Wasn't it Nixon that set us up as 'friends' to China way back when?

7:03 AM  
Blogger azazl said...

Well, dont you think you are being a touch arrogant declaring THAT the most magnificent of the Gitmo trials? I am sure there is far more bespangled magnificence to come. Perhaps we have Osama's housekeeper? Shoeshine boy? Proctologist?

Dont you think Phelps is a touch milktoast to use the term Motherfucker? And I get the feeling he sits to pee. Though he is a helluva swimmer.

-azazl of follyfoot farm

9:23 PM  

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