Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Plus ca ca change pas

Re: Sunday and Walking The Christians.
Dear Christians:
We are probably the most open minded restaurant this side of Dharma’s on 41st in Santa Cruz.
You can wear a Southern Battle Flag T-shirt here (Tim’s great grandfather died fighting for the South in the same battle where my great grandfather was wounded. They might have shot each other!).
You can wear IRA shirts, and British rugby shirts.
You can wear ManU jerseys, even though we are Liverpool and Barca folk (Real Madrid….not so much!)
Sorry, you can’t wear a t-shirt with a rainbow and some bullshit words like: “Jesus hates the sin, but loves the sinner”. Hashtag: GTFOH!
I grew up as the bishop’s altar boy in Reno. My tree is stacked with Jesuits and Sacred Heart nuns as far as the eye can see. I am cool with Jesus and God and their Whole Crew. I can still say the Our Father in Latin…so back off.
My memory of the Jesus I met in the scriptures was a revolutionary guy who lived at home with his mom until he was 33, hung around with a dozen dudes, and whose best female friend was a hooker. Where do you get “homosexuality is a sin” from that?
The only time he actually got his ire up was when he laid the lash to the bankers and moneylenders in the Temple. What was it you do for a living again?
My Amanda just spent a month overseeing the passage of my mom from this side to the next side. The last ten days she spent 24-7 by her bedside, praying her soul out, trying to connect Pat (and herself, and us) to the Whatever Comes Next.
In Amanda’s world you don’t pray to one guy or one thing… just fucking pray. Somebody will hear, and that Something is probably beyond our feeble tries at definition.
The experience itself is transformative.
Amanda had in the Jews. She had in the Buddhists. She had in the Unitarians. She had in the kindest, sweetest spiritual lady with crystals. She had in Father Emil for Last Rites…..not to mention the daily visits from the Shamanae nurses from the Hospice. The vibe was intensely spiritual, peaceful and supportive.
One day I arrived for a visit from trying to keep all our balls in good juggling mode, and Amanda made me sit in the yard for an hour with a glass of bubbly until my energy matched the house’s. At no time were any of these devotedly spiritual people anything but positive, generous and loving. Zero judgment or condescension…..even from the Catholics. Against the enormity of transformation and death….petty Earthly squabbles vanish.
You think Jesus gives a shit who has sex with who? Jesus is fucking Jesus, you morons!
Just because you are a hypocritical, judgmental asshole…don’t flatter yourself that God made you in his image. Production line errors are common. Consider yourself a spiritual Pinto, and believe me, The Factory is anxious to recall your model before you do further damage to The Brand.
I worked in Swiss and French kitchens long enough to become toxically allergic to arrogance and condescension. It puts me off my feed.
So…..please move your pure, virginal buttholes on to the next restaurant.
Perhaps they will be silly enough to believe that the customer is always right.
Yours in Christ,


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