Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Fog of Wore.....

As in..... "Wore Out".

"Rode hard.....and put up wet!"

The Great Being above kicked my ass with that film which even now I should be sending a bill. What is it worth to have a hot meal halfway up a 4wd road in the Hollister Hills at 6am? Oh, and with a location scout so stupid she sent us a map of Asilomar for a Base Camp. Asilomar. Hollister Hills. Same thing, right?

So......figure out the location, cut the chain on the gate in the dark, pioneer up the trail to a flat spot with trees......and be ready on-time for a union breakfast: freshly scrambled eggs, sweet rolls, quesadillas, tons o' fruit, piles o' Corralitos bacon and ham, granola, Acme coffee, Odwallah OJ, Serendipity home-fried potatoes. Ready even fifteen minutes early, at 5:45.

Sorry about the cut chain, Ranger.

Didn't want to wake you.

We charge fifteen bucks for this.....well, plus a slight delivery fee.

At the Fires of late, the caterer charges $20, less some important menu items, and none of it fresh or organic.

And, get this: a bag lunch costs you and I TWENTY-SEVEN DOLLARS. The hot item from the bag lunch was the UnCrustables: plastic wrapped PB and J sandwiches with the crusts cut off. Costco sells them. You and I and the Cachagua Volunteers could have made a killing with a road-side stand selling those babies. Like jailhouse smokes.

The UnCrustables were popular......especially after the fire folk started getting violently ill from the sandwiches. It took the caterer a while to figure out the whole no-mayo in the sandwich in 112 degree heat deal. Also, there is almost no protein in the world that will not denature and dissolve into a poisonous WMD goo at those temperatures. But, hey! Whaddaya want for only $27 bucks. Well, plus delivery and service charge.

Uhhh.......Can you say: "No-bid contract......?"

Uhhhh.......Can you say: "KBR.....division of Halliburton?"

Iraq comes to Cachagua.

For the first three-week cycle, we could not keep any amount of fresh fruit in the Store.....the troops were lusting for it. Something seemed to have changed with the second cycle last week or whenever. The HotShots seemed happy with their fare......

The second three week cycle started around ten days ago. We did experience separation anxiety......the crew that volunteered to unload our van on their break from 112 degree heat; the vegan lady firefighter lonesome for her German Wirehaired Pointer puppy at home; the kids from New Hampshire.....for whom Cachagua might as well have been Iraq.

It was especially sad for me that the "Thank You, Firefighters" signs sprouted in profusion after the first rotation......I mean, they are all Firefighters......but the new crew did not get to experience those crazy 100 plus days and the original wildfires.

Not that I am complaining about the New Crew. I don't know if you noticed, but they have been kicking ass. Even Bear is chuckling from time to time.....and uses terms like "aggressive" and "maybe risky......but I like it."

Our Incident Commander is of rock star quality. I don't know if she has been in charge the whole time, but she is in charge now. I checked the Thermal Imaging Satellite last night and I actually didn't believe it. Miller Canyon was a ball of flame. I couldn't reach Bear and Rod for I didn't post it. What the fuck? They burned it up? They let it burn?

The message from Bear and Rod on the phone was something like: "There is a lot of aggressive backburning.....all along the ridge up to Chew's and down to the Dam. Bear and I are going up to Asoleado to watch the fun......."

The ball of fire was our Incident Commander backburning around all the inholdings......and running up and out from the firebreaks. She was trying to put an end to our misery and get all the backburnings done by today.

Did I say "She"?

Jeanne Pincha-Trolley.

Check it out. I apologize to Commander Pincha-Tulley if this is a bad foto....but I get the feeling she probably doesn't give a shit.

She was Commander of Tahoe National Forest Air Something Something Scary three years ago.....

After the Castle Rock fire in Sun Valley in 2007, the locals wanted to run her for President. Not of the PTA, or the Fire Wives....but the United States.

The people in Sun Valley are million-billionaires......and not given to hyperbole if it is not related to golf......but they think she saved their town. So......she is either really good, or she has a great PR firm. Uhhh......looking at the fotos on-line, it ain't the PR. Ain't no stylists in her crew.

This is a working woman.

Meet her in person here.

And here is a fire blog I wish I had found three weeks ago.

I wish she had had time to kick Sheriff K's ass.......the resultant wave of estrogen would have kept him on Cialis for years......

Here is the satellite image. This is all clean up......note Miller Canyon as a blaze of yellow now that I have missed the bus.

All this backburning was and might even be now....politically incorrect.....but it is what I have been fantasizing about every time I drive to Tassajara to do my pathetic little trail clearing missions.

What I needed was napalm.......and a note from Jeanne.

Guess what the name of the Restaurant will be next Tuesday when SmallDick lets us reopen?


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