Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I Hate N*ggers.......

One of the aspects I least like about myself is my ability to stay huddled in bed, clutching a giant cup of cafe au lait long after the alarm goes off at 5am......flipping through the news channels. MSNBC, CNN, Headline News, Fox, Fox-LA, Current, Link, RFD (well, SOMEONE has to keep up with Weed of the Week!). Fox Soccer does not start until 8am, you see.

The past week it has been depressing.....all Rev. Wright, all the time. Fox is unwatchable. The furor had almost died away by Monday, thank The Lord.

Meanwhile, John McCain's whack job preacher friends and spiritual advisors got absolutely zero air time, even though they are so much more entertaining.

Rev. Rod Parsley from Ohio thinks that America was created to destroy Islam. He is a "Christocrat" and thinks America, as a Christian country, should be a theocracy. Best of all, he likens Planned Parenthood to the Klu Klux Klan and Nazi Germany......and is convinced that the U.S. government is fomenting black genocide.....the distruction of the black allowing 1500 black abortions a day.

And this guy is white!

Rev. John Hagee from San Antonio....a spiritual advisor whose endorsement McCain actively sought.....has famously called the Catholic Church "The Great Whore'', when we all know she is Dianne Feinstein. Silly man. Hagee also is against domestic violence laws because they encourage women to not obey their The Bible says they must. There is more, but you probably don't believe me.

Anyway, with no coverage of these cool McCain spiritual advisors, and only Sean Hannity going on about Obama's spiritual advisor, the news was falling back on real the fifth anniversary of the Iraq coup. Oh, and the 4,000th American death in Iraq. Oh, and the collapse of the banking system. Oh, and the collapse of the dollar. Oh, and Britney on a sit-com.

And then......yesterday, Billary dredged it back up again: "Well, he wouldn't be MY pastor......"

Jeez, here we go again. Hillary, your actual pastor supports Rev. Wright. Hillary, Mike Huckabee supports Rev. Wright. Mike Huckabee!

Mike Huckabee
doesn't want to see people slamming the Reverend and Obama about a pastoral sermon.....but Hillary does? Hmmm.

Reverend Wright said "Goddamn America!" you see. And, after 9-11: "All our chickens are coming home to roost!" This means he hates America, and welcomed the bombing of the trade towers, as does by implication his parishoner.....Barack Hussein Obama. Can't trust those Black Muslim America-hating Negroes!

I foolishly watched the entire Reverend Wright sermons in question on YouTube. After which excercise I have to say, I realized that I am a fan of the good Reverend. He could be my definitely would not drift off during his sermons.

Oh, and I agree with the Reverend 100%. Well....the whole Jesus thing aside. If Obama is denying the Rev.....Obama is a pussy.

The 9-11 clip played endlessly on Fox was actually an outtake of Rev. Wright quoting a white American diplomat (the former US ambassador to Saudi Arabia) .....well.....and Osama himself. Whatever the reality, Osama used the US military presence in the Middle East as a primary reason for the bombings, and gave lots of notice. Trying to understand the other side's logic is unpatriotic?

The other comment came in the middle of a tirade about the modern black situation, and the focus of white political agenda. Inner city young men with a 40% unemployment rate and a 30% incarceration rate? Deteriorating neighborhoods, no health care, crap education. Where is the help? When a young black man is more likely to be found in jail than with a job......God damn America!

We can fix shit like this! And for a lot less than 200,000,000 euros a day. You can walk around anywhere in Harlem nowadays, at any hour.....and admire the beautifully restored architecture. If we can turn around black real estate, we ought to be able to help actual black people......

God damn it!

If you are one of those queasy liberals....or staunch conservatives..... who blame the messenger....."Well, they should help themselves. You don't see Asians with these problems. We Irish worked our way out of poverty in only two or three generations...." you probably think racism is dying in America.

Oh, and the attacks on Rev. Wright and Obama are not racial. Actually, Obama is the recipient of reverse racism in a Geraldine Ferraro kind of way. "If he weren't black, you see......."

A few months ago a South Park episode based on "Wheel of Fortune" inspired us for a Monday Night restaurant naming. One of the more upright and repressed liberal parents of one of the kids was down to the wire on "Wheel" and within a letter of winning millions. The word was "N*GGER". The poor schlub stood there wringing his hands, trying to sort out all his conflicts: money, morality, money, good liberal values, money....

He eventually shouted out the word.

Wrong word! Wrong vowel!

So....that night we named the restaurant "People Who Annoy You" Roadhouse.

"No N*ggers or *aggots need apply!"

Amanda's dad was a guest. He figured it out in two seconds flat. Johnny Kinder and Rogelio were also there, with Peyton and Pauline. It took them a few more seconds. John and Rogelio represent the only gay couple in Cachagua.....that we know of. They know us well enough to know that "F" was not the missing letter, nor "I" the missing vowel.

Imagine looking beyond the easy and obvious to the real. Imagine examining the personal mental process that occurs when you try to fill in the blank in "N*gger".


Well, in Cachagua we do such things.

Then last Sunday rolled around, and one of our locals with a college degree took me aside.

"Do you have time to discuss something sensitive?" Uh, sure.

Like when the GF says: "Honey, we need to talk......"

Dianne has a Phd in Marriage and Family Counseling. (I have a PHD, too.....but it is blue and I use it to dig holes for fenceposts. My red PHD broke). Dianne has a friend, Froggy, who is a chef at Spanish Bay. Froggy represents one of the few black people ever to make it out to Cachagua. Froggy had heard about our South Park menu, and wanted Dianne to let us know that he would not be dining at The Store anymore.

Word has spread about our racism and homophobia.

I guess Reverend Wright IS my pastor.......


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