Saturday, October 25, 2008

Random....

Normally, when weirdos or advertising penetrates.......note the verb......the security of Blogger.com I trash the crap immediately.

We just got a post from Collier....an anonymous substance.....on my "My Sarah....." post from a couple of weeks ago. It is all about Cialis being better than Viagra.....

The irony is too delicious.....

What is the code that detects "Sarah Palin" blog posts.....and who wrote it? Who did the demographics? Why Cialis? If your candidacy lasts more than 72 hours....call Pat Buchanan?

Or is it something in my Blogger profile. Probably listing "Princess Bride" among my favorite movies.......Hey, Robin Wright Penn was hot! And all those swords.....

Or is it a Sarah thing? That $150k on clothes and the $20+k on makeup in a month to get the juices flowing in the altekochers. (I have no idea how to spell "old farts" in Yiddish, but it is a great word).

Meanwhile......the butterfly in Burma is flapping its wings. Our local progressives have no worries come next Tuesday, but there are important battles being fought elsewhere. Jill Derby in one of my many home states.....Nevada...... fighting an old-school scumbag. Darcy Burner against another in Washington State. Sheriff Reichert, Darcy's opponent, could show Mike K some douche-bag tricks.

Imagine having a dumbfuck like Mike Kanalakis as your representative to Congress instead of Sam Farr.

Talk about sepukku.

MB from Port Angeles points out that Christine Gregoire......the governor of Washington is in a tough battle as well. MB says that if Christine loses, emigration is the only answer.

Tina Fey has gotten a lot of press for her Saturday Night Live take on Our Sarah. Sarah is very nice to everyone but the wardrobe guy.....no surprises there....but Tina says that if Sarah wins, she has plans to leave the planet.

Awright, people.......I know that times are tough and the shit has hit the fan. We got our first economic cancellation last week.

"I am sure you are getting a lot of calls like this....but we really can't afford to have a party in times like this......"

"No....actually. You are the only one, ma'am."

People use any kind of panic or shortage as an excuse to act like pinche fuckheads. Caterers take it in the shorts while people try to squeak by with micro-waved mini-quiche from Costco served by that friend of their cousin's maid from El Salvador .....or one of those other dark and servile countries where people clean really well.

Restaurant guys are the same. When was the last time you got served water automatically in a restaurant? 1975?

Probably, because the last Big Drought was 1976-78, and we all stopped handing out free water back before my pizza guy was born. And he is kind of old.....

Our response to the collapse of civilization is three-fold:

One........I fucking told you so. Go listen to James McMurtry again. Send all the jobs overseas, kill local industry as a trade off for higher stock dividends and cheaper T-shirts at Wal-Mart....and let a bunch of drunken frat-boy golfers make up all the rules. Where is the mystery when the entire country goes to hell in a handbasket?

Those faggots in Europe have been pointing this shit out to us for a decade....but fuck them and pass the freedom fries....and hand me another globally warmed Belgian-owned Bud-Light.

Two: "If you give a shit....you ain't worth a shit." Wisdom from Jack the Plumber from Horseheads, New York in 1976. Jack moved to California with us and ran a solar business in Napa back before it was fashionable.....and is probably back in Horseheads now.

When the wheels come off....throw money around. Well, we don't have money, but we have our labor and our skill.

Money: all the bills I never sent to clients who will probably now never pay me cause me to sign up for every fundraiser I can find. This month we have worked overtime for Big Sur Land Trust, Ventana Wildlife Something Something involving Condors, John Laird, Sam Farr, the Forest Theatre, Cachagua Volunteers.

I feel like the Dutch boy with his finger in the dike......

Maybe that is why we get the Cialis mail........I should switch from finger to.....well, never mind.

Tomorrow we are working for Bill Bates for free. Poor bastard had a heart attack and was dumb enough to go to Community Hospital......which place, in our experience, is sort of "Burning Man" for exotic MRSA-style incurable staph infections. Sure enough, the poor guy is still there....with the meter running.

Fuck CHOMP.... we are not paying that bill.

Tomorrow we are raising money to pay his wife's rent. Picture Sheriff Macho Mike Kanalakis coming round with his Macho Boys to evict Bill Bate's wife while Bill languishes under crushing debt in a private hospital he can't check himself out of while being treated for a disease he caught because he picked a hospital where they don't have both skates on the ice, ever.

I guess we don't have to worry about that scenario. Kanalakis will probably use the old Avis map that shows Carmel as being on Highway 101 north of Gonzales.

We are catering the Republican Victory Party at the Carmel Women's Center on Election Night. All our vehicles have stickers that say "Mike Ain't Right....Recall Sheriff Kanalakis". No worries about any awkward moments. I doubt he will find the place. Carmel, that is.

Mrs. Bates can rest easy.

My Spanish chef who is here for 90 days used to think we Americans were insane for having voted for George Bush twice. The more he finds out about our health care.......he thinks George Bush is the least of our problems.

He is right, more's the pity.

Three: "When in danger, or in doubt: run in circles....scream and shout!"

This was Captain Queeg.

No matter what else is happening around us...... you all each and every one still have twenty bucks credit left on your MasterCard or Visa.

Supposedly the next big thing after bad mortgages will be bad credit cards...so you really have hundreds left on your card. Thousands.

Don't rent videos this week....watch Keith Olbermann instead. Send the money to our people.

My Burmese Butterfly is waiting in the wings....and feeling stronger all the time.

If YOU send twenty bucks, a thousand other folks will also......and there is still some chance that we can save ourselves.

And, as Jack the Plumber says: "If you give a shit........."

Fuck it. Just send some money. It will take five minutes.

Help Darcy, Jill, Christine......

And come by on November Fourth and I will buy you a beer......

3 Comments:

Blogger Pexster said...

Relevant to nothing in this post except maybe the title, "Random," NPR's Weekend Edition Sunday aired an interview with Ferrán Adría this morning.

www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=96044667

4:00 PM  
Blogger plum said...

If, like me, you couldn't attend the Bates' fundraiser, here's where we can still donate:
" Donation checks should be made out to Friends of Bill Bates and mailed to P.O. Box 146, Carmel 93921."

(hope this posts; last time I tried, it disappeared!)

5:30 PM  
Blogger li sun said...

Yo Yellow Dog..
This ain't bootball and team spirit counts for nothing when the end game is reality.
Inflation..Taxation..Regulation..
The big three Democrat favorites..
How is that ongoing recipe for disaster going to solve anything?

7:13 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home