Zen and the Art of Fly Smashing......

President Obama made Letterman, the Daily Show and others this week by pausing during an interview and smashing a fly.

PETA went nuts.....Fox News went nuts and accused Obama of hypocrisy somehow.

I like PETA way more than Fox News.....well, until Fox produces supermodels clothed in lettuce writhing around in steel cages in daylight in Times Square anyway......

Even so.....take a fucking valium, Pam. Baywatch was sponsored by Hormel and McDonalds.

A couple of years back, my guy....the Dalai Lama....did the same thing during a TV interview and got no press whatsoever.

I say "My guy" because I love the Dalai Lama. He is a charismatic religious figure who is beyond the normal dogmatic religious bullshit. And, as an Irish Catholic....I know all about dogmatic religious bullshit.

Especially after a week of being personally plagued by dogmatic, ignorant Cachagua Christian fuckheads....thinking about the Dalai Lama is like taking a smoke break.

When a Dalai Lama dies, the supreme council of the Tibetan Buddhist crew gets together and does a physical and spiritual search all over the Kingdom for the new guy.

My Dalai Lama.....#14....was born in some crappy town in a crappy house in Bumfuck, Tibet in 1935. His original name was Lhamo Dhondrub. No loss there on becoming "Dalai Lama".

The Dalai Lamas are the manifestations of the Bodhisattva (Buddha) of Compassion, who chose to reincarnate to serve and enlighten the people. Lhamo Dhondrub was, as Dalai Lama, renamed Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso - Holy Lord, Gentle Glory, Compassionate, Defender of the Faith, Ocean of Wisdom. Tibetans normally refer to His Holiness as Yeshe Norbu, the Wishfulfilling Gem or simply Kundun - The Presence.

If you ever get to meet the guy.....he really is The Presence. I hear Bill Clinton has this same kind of aura....but Bill chose to use his gifts mostly in trailer parks. Buddhists are supposed to be abstemious and austere in their personal habits.....but, as the Dalai Lama says : "Everything in moderation....especially moderation."

The Dalai Lama appreciates a rich, malo-lactic Chardonnay. His brother is more of a good gin guy (Boodles), and the sister-in-law can get all crazy and go for a Paso Zin or another thick red wine, if there is one on offer. They have been in Carmel. They have people here. If you are nice, you would donate to the Tibetan Nuns' Project. Or at least buy a calendar.

Anyway.....a bunch of years ago Geraldo Rivera actually got an interview with the DL in Dharamsala at the DL's residence in exile in India.

Geraldo lived across the street from my brother on Long Island....and, to be generous....Geraldo is not yet an enlightened being who has chosen to be reborn to serve the people. Well.....maybe the people on Fox.

Geraldo's interview with DL is excruciating to watch. It was like watching my Cachagua Christian Dumbfuck talk Chinkee talk to Jeremy from Tassajara.

Geraldo: "Why do you think your beliefs are better than say the Christians or Jews?" (Geraldo had to mention the Jews because he lives on Long Island....not that any Jews watch Fox).

DL: "I don't actually think our beliefs are better than anyone else's. Our practice works very well for our people....and many people. But, really.....I am open to suggestion. If anyone has a better idea, I am happy to listen. I welcome instruction and inspiration."

You don't get this kind of talk from Pat Robertson....or Monsignor McMahon.

In the course of the interview there was a fly....several flies....buzzing around Geraldo and the Dalai Lama. It was hard to tell which was more annoying to the viewer....Geraldo, or the fly.

As Geraldo pushed his silly format, and the fly buzzed around.....the Dalai Lama waved it away, and succeeded in responding politely.

Finally, Geraldo pushed his dumbest question yet....and the Dalai Lama smacked his hands together and crushed the fly.

Geraldo nearly leaped from his seat: "Omigod....I mean, Your Holiness, Your Excellency.....I thought Buddhism was about reverence for life, and the value of the spirituality of all creatures.....How can you, the leader of all Tibetan Buddhists.....kill a fly on international television?"

The Dalai Lama replied:

"Well.....I gave him three chances......."

Irony is not part of the Fox repetoire, obviously.

And you gotta love the DL.....

Oh....that is Che Guevara's granddaughter posing in rev gear for a PETA ad.