I picture Lawrence Berta or Bill Lambert as the main character......except both of those guys pretty much do their own suturing, unless they happened to accidentally fall down in front of the doctor's office.......or they were working cattle at the doctor's ranch. Granpa Fred Nason lost a finger when it got caught in between a rope and the saddle pommel during a branding......and I doubt there were doctors involved.
Dental floss works great for home remedies in this situation......but if you try this yourself, avoid the green mint version. Burns like hell, and scares most people when they see it. I got ten mint flavored stitches in my knee in the middle of a rugby match in Park City, Utah back in the day.....compliments of a veterinarian in the crowd. All the rugby idiots were jealous of my Frankenstein look.......
The Post Turtle
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.
The old rancher said, ' Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.'
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old rancher said, ' When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.'
The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. ' You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.'