Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thanks..... Without Giving......Part Two

This Turkey Day we are off, for the first time in a decade.

We hate turkeys.....well, dead turkeys. Live turkeys are Our Friends.

Still, we have to work over the weekend, so I took my Grandpuppy to the Farmer's Market at MPC on Wednesday to prepare.....

There was literally no one there. I was the only shopper. The apple ladies called out to me to buy Fuji's like they were transvestite hookers on 8th Avenue in the good old days in New York.

"Hey! Check my apples! You need apples, boy!"

I love having apple ladies fight over me......

After the market, Puppy and I headed for the beach.

We stopped at the Cheese Shop for a half-bottle of Gruet and some Tasmanian double cream soft-ripened cheese with some nice French bread. Cost? Less than $16.

The Cheese Shop guys told me to bring Puppy inside.

"Dogs are welcome here....."

Yeah.

Until Puppy strolled in, stood up, planted his paws on the counter, and started turning his magic nose up at hard-ripened cow cheese.

Puppy is into the soft goat stuff......

Meanwhile.....only in Carmel.......The Cheese Shop staff could deal with a German Wirehaired Pointer who only likes soft-ripened goat and sheep cheese.

Only in Carmel.

Xabi and I took our stash and retired to The Beach.

There was not a soul in sight.

Xabi and I had the entirety of Carmel Beach to ourselves.....

We walked from 13th back to Del Mar at Ocean......with only the wind and the waves as company. Well, Robinson Jeffers might have been there with us.....but that is another story.

Puppy is a famous Carmel Beach criminal. Xabi loves all dogs, and even refuses to eat until all the other dogs have food just like his.....He was attacked and almost killed by a Pit
Bull on Carmel Beach, and even got a citation, as in $200 fine.....Puppy still loves all dogs.

Unfortunately, Puppy seems to especially love dogs owned by nice lesbian couples, cute little blonde girls......and anyone that might be freaked out by a spotted puppy madly humping anything with four legs on Carmel Beach.

There were no dogs on The Beach on Thanksgiving Eve. Thank you, Jesus.

There was a moon......with Venus and Jupiter in attendance...but there were no people and no dogs.

As we walked the length of the beach and back......arguably one of the most expensive pieces of real estate in the world.......we noted the basics: the feel of the wind, the scent of the sea and sand and the giant piles of kelp heaped in our paths.......Venus, Jupiter and the Moon.

The houses on Scenic.......seemed about a quarter full. Judging by TV blue light.

We know how this works. We have a client from 1999 with a house on Scenic and 13th (the shitty little house)......who to our certain knowlege has been there twice in ten years. He is a tech guy, so he has program that turns the lights on and off.....but we know where the key is behind the water heater, and have taxed him for some Newcastles and re-stocked his local wine stash without his knowlege since Clinton was President..... This guy has a timer that pretends he is ever there.......

Yeah, right.

Still, Puppy and I were stoked to see at least a quarter of the houses on Scenic with actual people enjoying the actual Carmel experience.

Sort of.

At least watching TV on Carmel Beach. On the beach itself.......just me and Xabi. How cool is that? When was the last time you had sole control over a few billion dollars.

Well, not sole control. We were just observers of the sand, sea, Jupiter, Venus, moon thing....but you get the picture.....

I am thinking of starting a new economic function: "Enjoyment of Carmel Beach by Property Owners on Scenic". It could be an Indicator of our Economic Health.

Call it 25% on Thanksgiving this year.

So, walking up Carmel Beach with a known Dog-Criminal on Thanksgiving Eve.....suddenly I heard manic barking.

Oh, fuck.

I ran up to check out the problem.

I saw a guy standing close to the surf.....with Xabi barking like a lunatic just in front.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, sir.....he thinks it is his beach."

Puff, puff.

"I am really sorry. He is a nice dog.......He just likes dogs more than people....."

Puff, puff.

I could see the guy.....frozen and stiff. Xabi barking like a nut, charging in and out. Woof. Woof.

"Shit. Sorry, dude. This is a local dog.....he was Mr. August this year, and he thinks he owns the Beach......."

The guy did not move. Frozen in fear, no doubt.

Xabi continued to bark and race around. Fuck.

As I got closer, the dude never moved.

Not a dude....a thing.

The Dude was a driftwood log, jammed into the sand, wrapped in kelp......and set up such that it looked like a Carmel seaweed Bob Marley. Dreads, holding a torch.

Not something casual....the kelp and kelp fronds that made the sculpture were wrapped tight with kelp fronds. The driftwood was buried deep.....enough to stand a tide or two.

From twenty feet it was Bob Marley.......

It took me ten solid minutes to convince Puppy that the sculpture was not......real?

Or what?

I love Carmel.......

A place where someone will spend hours creating an obscure art-form/tribute of world class quality......and walk away, feeling complete.

Twisted Mister walk on the billion dollar sands......completely alone on the busiest day of the year.......breathing the air and sea and crazy ionic nuttiness......and absorbing the pounding of the surf.......

And running into a completely anonymous, random, perfect.....thing that someone spent hours to make just because.......

Not because anyone would see it or understand........

My life in a nutshell.......

Xabi and I were stoked......

Thanks, Carmel..........

I am good for another year.

1 Comments:

Blogger MILF said...

I LOVE YOU!!!WHAT A BRILLIANT WRITER! I'M MOVING TO CACHAGUA ON DEC 15 AND ALTHOUGH MY TEEN DAUGHTER SAYS SHE WOULD RATHER LIVE IN A CRACK HOUSE SURROUNDED BY GANGSTERS AND GANG MEMBERS IN SEASIDE ALL BY HERSELF THAN LIVE IN CACHAGUA, I KNOW IT'S THE PLACE I WANT TO BE NOW THAT I"M 51/50! I USED TO DO TRAVEL FOR A WONDERFUL, WITTY, CRANKY GUY NAMED "HATFIELD", AND YOU REMIND ME OF HIM. I'M DONE WITH TRYING TO ADD COLOR TO THE TOWN OF CARMEL AFTER 24 YEARS (A VISION IN BEIGE BY THE SEA). GET READY CACHAGUA CUZ HERE I COME! (I'm originally from Oakland) and I have a lot more color to splash on this often staid world! IN A WONDERFUL WAY! I'M GOING TO BE LIVING A SHORT, WALKABLE DISTANCE FROM THE GENERAL STORE AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO A NEW SOCIAL LIFE WITH CHILDLIKE NOT CHILDISH PLAYMATES. YOU ARE A BRILLIANT WRITER, ONCE AGAIN, ENCORE!

2:12 AM  

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